This month, we’re talking about what scares us. I grew up reading whatever the adults around me laid down, and my mom was a horror buff. Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Peter Straub. The Good stuff. (Horror shout-out: Anyone else reading Doctor Sleep this month?)
Who’s a scaredy-cat? This girl.
I was never the kid not scared of anything. I was prone to night terrors and listening in the dark, long after everyone else went to bed, for creaks and whispers. Which, actually, was more of a heaping dollop of anxiety than fear.
As I got older, the things keeping me up at night stopped being faceless monsters and turned into worries like, Do we have enough in savings if something terrible happened? or How would I raise the kids alone if my husband had an accident? Scary, grown-up stuff.
What if nothing happens?
Then, after some soul-searching and crazy living, I realized my own deepest fear was being mundane. What if I never do anything magnificent? What if I never get to stand at some random podium and thank the people in my life because everyone else in the room is applauding me? Are there awards for being really good at assisting in the creation of 2nd grade science projects? I just can’t imagine that fitting on a trophy.
Am I being a total drag and ruining good-time, scary month for everyone else?
At some point, I realized the monsters are actually people and the enemy is time and maybe-tomorrow. Thing is, I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one. I have a sneaking suspicion that tons of people feel this way. They see time slipping by as nothing great happens. They wonder if they’re up to the task of… an interesting life.
Don’t get me wrong–I wouldn’t trade my kids, or my husband, or worrying about which laundry detergent gives me the best value for the world. Not even for a room full of strangers tossing roses at my feet.
It’s just… these are the things that keep me up at night. And so, I’ll read about a spunky heroine rebelling against societal norms or a recovering alcoholic defying the supernatural for a second chance at life. Because those stories, those endings and victories, make me believe. My day will come.
How about you?
Sure, the zombie apocalypse if crazy scary, but what every day concern scares you? Don’t forget, one winner will be chosen at random this month from all the comments to win an e-copy of Sutton Fox‘s romantic suspense, Beyond the Winner’s Circle plus a $10 Amazon Gift Card!