I read for the good parts *wink, wink*

Before I start in on this little rant, I want to preface this blog post with the following:

Everyone likes to read what they like to read. There’s nothing wrong with sweet romance vs. regular romance. I’m not writing this to tear down a genre, but because I’m tired of the stigma that comes with writing sex scenes. With that, let’s begin.

I write sex scenes. I don’t close the door on my character’s sexual interactions with one another.  When I announce such a thing in a group of people the following reactions occur:

  • “Oh, you’re a freak, huh?”
  • “You write mommy-porn.”
  • “But you say you don’t like gratuitous sex.”

These are just a few of the comments I’ve heard. Some involving the winking eye from the guys, the casual drop in conversation by the gals, and anytime a conversation veers to the inappropriate people get a little shocked when I say the discussion is a bit risque since I write such things.

No one ever imagines that it’s not about the sex. At. All. The physical act on the page is usually a very limited part of the equation. Why do you think Twilight was so popular? It wasn’t because of the sex since there wasn’t any. What is important is the emotions, the way the act propels the plot either by causing conflict, bringing the couple closer together, dividing them apart, challenging core beliefs, and the list goes on. Some of my favorite books involve sex scenes that don’t actually describe the body parts entering bodies and such, but how the characters emotions evolve throughout the scene.

Not to mention, not every book requires 5 sex scenes, even an erotic romance, the scenes must fit the characters themselves. Writer’s really do ask themselves if the scene is necessary. In editing, and critiquing for others, I’ve removed sex scenes and added in others. Sometimes the comments are for more intimacy and less physical description.

I don’t write mommy-porn, I write emotional growth and discovery. A lot of the sex scenes are about that. Pushing the limits of what the character believes sex is really about and forming a genuine connection between the two people sharing it.

Books I recommend that do such a thing:

Tell Me Lies by Jennifer Crusie

Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie

Evening Storm by Anne Calhoun

The One In My Heart by Sherry Thomas

There are many more authors and books, but these are the ones that came to mind. What books can you name where sex is more emotional than physical?

Also, how do you think we can break the stigma?

About Landra Graf

Landra Graf consumes at least one book a day and has always been a sucker for stories where true love conquers all. She believes in the power of the written word, and the joy such words can bring. In between spending time with her family and having book adventures, she writes romance with the goal of giving everyone, fictional or not, their own happily ever after.

Heart-Shaped Glasses June Mash-Up!

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Welcome to our monthly mash-up of places and things we found interesting this month!

Bethanne likes:

For Writers, Avoiding Cliches, http://suspense.net/whitefish/cliche.htm

Another one for Writers on using a Facebook Fan Page as a website?
http://janefriedman.com/2013/06/29/facebook-cant-replace-website/

Debora likes:

Writers looking to  grow the skills necessary to compete in today’s ever-changing publishing industry have help. This July, join ten speakers in the Muse Camp Telesummit. This online event provides information about marketing, blogging, Twitter, self-care, as well as ways to navigate between digital-first and self-publishing options. It’s free to register for this two week event, which begins July 8, 2013.

Visit http://www.musecamp.com to register for this FREE event and to learn more.
May the muse be with you

And for the history lovers…Interesting photos of the time of an Oklahoma 1913 time capsule.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/donnad/treasures-unearthed-from-oklahomas-1913-time-capsule

Julie’s find:

A great blog post I ran across about writers and doubt! http://killzoneauthors.blogspot.com/2011/07/writers-and-doubt.html#.UPna045gslJ

Jennifer recommends:

A few links to guestimate your amazon sales based on ranking:
http://kdpcalculator.com/index.php

http://www.theresaragan.com/p/sale-ranking-chart.html

Visit our special guests!

Because we love our guests…here’s a link to our June guest bloggers one more time!

Melanie Reyes Photography:  http://www.melaniereyesphotography.com

Author Jeannie Moon:  http://www.jeanniemoon.com/blog

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That’s all we’ve got for this month – but if you have a great link you’d like us to check out or would like to see us feature…don’t be shy, add it here in the comment section and we’ll give you a shout-out next month!

As always, every comment is another chance to win our monthly giveaway! Thanks for stopping by and we’ll be back next month with more fun links!

 

About Debora Dennis

A believer in second chances and that time should never be an obstacle to finding love, Debora writes time travels with modern snark and spice! When she’s not writing, she’s spending time with her family, reading, or trying to figure out a way to get chocolate into every dish she serves.

Heart-Shaped Glasses May Mash-up

Welcome to our first mash-up! Never been to a mash-up before? Well, you’re in for a treat – a big heart-shaped treat, that is. Because all the ladies here love to share, once a month we’re going to share with you some of our favorites from around the web.

Tina’s pick of the month:

This awesome list of worksheets for writers that includes spreadsheets, worksheets, etc. for plotting and story structure.

http://jamigold.com/for-writers/worksheets-for-writers/#Scene

Julie’s picks of the month:

Potential Husbands from YA Fantasy: A Comparison Chart
And
25 Vintage Photos of Librarians Being Awesome
Lori’s pick of the month:
Wordbitches.
Jennifer’s finds of the month:
How to Immediately Become a More Productive (and Better) Writer
http://www.copyblogger.com/kaizen-writing/?utm_source=feedly
And
Bethanne’s top picks of the month:
And
Debora’s hot picks of the month:
Cool Writing Fiction Plotting Cheat Sheet
And
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Have a great day and we’ll see you again next month with more of our favorite views around the web!

About Debora Dennis

A believer in second chances and that time should never be an obstacle to finding love, Debora writes time travels with modern snark and spice! When she’s not writing, she’s spending time with her family, reading, or trying to figure out a way to get chocolate into every dish she serves.

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