Guest Post — Ally Broadfield

One day left until Halloween… and what better topic than HORROR MOVIES…or how to survive them!! Come on in and join the fun by welcoming Ally Broadfield to the blog!! 😀

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On Horror Movies and Being a Wimp

I’ve never seen a horror movie on the big screen. Since being scared to death isn’t high on my list of priorities, I’ve never been a fan of horror movies, not even when I was younger. Probably because I’m a big wimp. I watched Poltergeist at a friend’s sleepover when I was in the seventh grade, and refused to enter my walk-in closet at night for years. And don’t get me started on clown dolls. In high school I watched Nightmare on Elm Street on cable and I’m pretty sure I didn’t fall asleep for more than a week. The worst scare I ever had was driving home after watching Children of the Corn at a friend’s house. I had to drive home alone, after midnight, along an unlit road surrounded by corn fields. I totally blew through the stop sign at the cross street.

Fast forward several years (cough, cough, decades), and I’ve been saddled with a son who loves to watch scary movies. My other two kids are wimps like me, and my husband doesn’t find anything scary, so I somehow became the designated scary movie watcher. At first I was afraid he might get scared and we’d be up all night because he couldn’t sleep, but no. We’ve watched Poltergeist, Nightmare on Elm Street, The Shining, Dead Alive, all the Evil Dead movies, and many, many more, and I still haven’t found anything that actually scares him (though oddly enough, it was just a few years ago that he was covering his eyes during the Tuesday the 17th episode of Psych). He’s also watched Saw, Paranormal Activity, and Insidious at a friend’s house (likely along with many others I never found out about), but still nothing. So I’ve morphed from the mom trying to protect him to the cray-cray lady who is determined to find a movie that will scare the !@#$%* out of him.

Tonight our local movie theater is showing Halloween on the big screen, and we’re going. I expect he will be fine. I probably won’t be. Here are the strategies I’m employing to help me survive the experience:

  1. Arrive early to get a seat in the back row so I don’t have to worry about anyone getting me from behind.
  2. Use the bathroom before the movie in case I’m too scared to go during or after.
  3. Style hair to easily conceal my eyes so evil son won’t make fun of me if I close them.
  4. Carry a concealed weapon. No, not a gun, but I think a good hit in the eyes from a can of aerosol hair spray will slow someone down long enough for me to get away.
  5. Find a way to sneak one of my dogs into the theater. They always warn me when someone suspect is lurking (and will also protect me from an attack by evil squirrels).
  6. As a last resort, shove beloved son toward attacker to buy time for me to get away.  What? It was his idea to go.

Do you have any other suggestions for me? Or, just in case watching on the big screen doesn’t work, can you recommend a movie that will finally scare my son?

Ally BroadfieldAlly Broadfield lives in Texas and is convinced her house is shrinking, possibly because she shares it with three kids, five dogs, two cats, a rabbit, and several reptiles. Oh, and her husband. She likes to curse in Russian and spends most of her spare time letting dogs in and out of the house and shuttling kids around. She writes historical romance and middle grade/young adult fantasy. Her debut release, Just a Kiss, is coming from Entangled Publishing in December 2013.

You can find Ally on her website, Facebook, and Twitter (though she makes no claims of using any of them properly).

About Beth Rhodes

Beth jumps into life with both feet...or head first. Impulsive and spontaneous to a T, she joined Passionate Critters and never looked back. She loves writing and reading, which made this wonderful group of woman a perfect match for her.
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15 Responses to Guest Post — Ally Broadfield

  1. I’m with you! I’m a huge wimp when it comes to scary movies. You’re so sweet to take your son. If my son loves scary movies when he’s older, he’s going to have to go with my husband or he’s on his own 😉

    • Thanks for coming by, Julie. That’s how I thought it would work at my house, but his desire to watch horror movies began during the summer when he was ten. We watched in broad daylight while my husband was at work and started with mild movies like Army of Darkness and Little Shop of Horrors. Now we’ve jumped up several levels, but somehow I’m still the designated chaperone.

  2. Sutton Fox says:

    Sorry, no recommendations from this quarter. My son loved them too, when he was a teen. I’ve watched enough ‘Freddie’ and ‘Jason’ to last me a lifetime. Now I avoid all that stuff like the plague.

    If we have guests and must watch something remotely scary, I’m known for sitting mostly behind my man and peaking over his shoulder-sometimes. 🙂

    Very fun post. Thanks for being with us today!

    • Thanks for commenting, Sutton. It’s a pleasure to be here today.

      When we watch at home, I make one of my Great Pyrenees sit with me on the couch.

      We haven’t seen Friday the 13th yet, so I might have to make that next on our list.

  3. Nancy says:

    I do not watch scarey movies. In fact, I seldom watch any movies anymore.
    I think something like in Cold Blood is more horrifying than any of the movies liek the one with Edward Scissorhand. ( names may be confused and incorrect)
    Frankly, I never took a child to a scarey movie.
    I htink a group of teenagers through young adults in a pack are the most frightening thing on earth , if they seeem the least bit hostile.
    Though I don’t usually watch movies, I have seen scenes about the woman being murdered in the shower which makes one investigate very carefully when alone.
    Ally, how can you accomplish all you do?
    You didn’t even list all the work you do for the various chapters to which you belong.
    I wouldn’t have slithery, scaley pets. Pets need to ahve fur or feathers.

  4. Ella Quinn says:

    No, no, no scary movies. I did not allow them on in the house when I was there or awake, and I sure didn’t take my son to them. He had to get dad to do that. This is a good opportunity for some dad-son bonding time while you have a nice cup of tea (or wine) and read.

    • LOL, Ella. Sadly, I haven’t your skills of persuasion, and I think I missed the window of opportunity to pawn this off on my husband. But I do think he owes me some alone time to drink tea and read.

  5. Lani says:

    I didn’t love scary movies until I watched them at a big screen. I lived in Miami at the time, and there is nothing more fun than communal fear. I know it sounds weird, but in a huge audience with total strangers around, you really bond with whoever is sitting next to you. I screamed held hands and hid behind the guy I sat next to. He thought I was hilarious and we became friends afterward.

    As for scary movies. It sounds like your son might appreciate a little more suspense in his horror. Have you watched the original “Carrie?” But that does have the whole me starting scene that most thirteen year-old boys find most terrorizing of all! Ha! Happy Halloween!

    • That’s what I’m afraid of, Lani. I’ve done okay watching horror movies at home, but I might be scared to death when I see the first one on the big screen.

      Hmm…maybe he deserves the kind of scare that Carrie can provide!

      Thanks for stopping by!

  6. Fun post, Ally! I’m not a fan of scary movies either! Ugh! I have never been to one at a theater, so good luck with that! My advice would be to try to focus on anticipating the plot to keep from getting sucked in to the movie! I do like watching The Walking Dead, but that’s about as scary as I can handle! Good luck!

  7. Ally, I never have and never will watch horror movies. They scare me. I used to hide behind the couch when The Wizard of Oz witch was on TV.

    • Collette, I took my daughter to see The Wizard of Oz in IMAX 3D a few months ago, and I have to admit the flying monkeys and the witch setting the scarecrow on fire were pretty scary! Thanks for coming by.

  8. The movie that scared me the most is An American Werewolf in London and Carrie. The first is kind of old-er. But there’s a remake of Carrie playing right now in theater. Good luck!

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