The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Sorry I haven’t been here much this year. Lots of things happened and I’m back on the track with writing, life and a whole lot more!

Promise I’ll be back to tell you all about it starting next month!

About Lynn Crain

Award winning author Lynn Crain has done it all in her life. From nursing to geology, her life experiences have added to her detail rich stories. She loves writing full time as she weaves contemporary, fantasy, futuristic and paranormal tales, tame to erotic, for various publishers. Her home is in the desert southwest and she’s just returned from her latest adventure of living in Vienna, Austria while her husband worked his dream job. You can find her hanging out online at www.lynncrain.blogspot.com, https://www.facebook.com/LynnCrainAuthor, and on Twitter, @oddlynn3. She loves hearing from her readers at lynncrain@cox.net.

The Perfection of the Parody

Happy December, everyone!

I’m a sucker for parody songs. Who doesn’t smile when they see/hear something funny played to the beat of a familiar tune? As a child, I’d sit with my cousins and we’d spend hours making up our own fun lyrics to existing songs. The sneaky Bunny (done to the music of Two Princes by Spin Doctors) or The High School song (done to the music of Nirvana’s Smells like Teen Spirit). To this day, Weird Al is one of my favorite human beings 😉 His work always makes me smile.

Today I’d like to share a couple of my favorites in hopes of making you smile!

This parody of Jason Derulo’s “Talk Dirty” is one of my go-tos when I’m feeling low. I’m big into gaming and this video is just pure awesome. 🙂

 

Another favorite is Dark lord Funk (an Uptown Funk parody)

I’ve got no video skills, and trust me when I tell you, you wouldn’t want to hear me sing–but I still love to write my own parodies.

Since I’m currently in the editing phase of the book I’m working on, and it’s the holidays, here’s one I wrote a few years back (because, for some reason, I always seem to be editing something during the holiday season…).

The Twelve Days of Edits

On the first day of edits, my CP gave to me a plot hole as big as the sea

 

On the second day of edits, my CP gave to me:

two mismatched loves

and a plot hole as big as the sea

 

On the third day of edits, my CP gave to me:

three crutch words

two mismatched loves

and a plot hole as big as the sea

 

On the fourth day of edits, my CP gave to me:

four repeated phrases

three crutch words

two mismatched loves

and a plot hole as big as the sea

 

On the fifth day of edits, my CP gave to me:

five pointless scenes

four repeated phrases

three crutch words

two mismatched loves

and a plot hole as big as the sea

 

On the sixth day of edits, my CP gave to me:

six clichéd themes

five pointless scenes

four repeated phrases

three crutch words

two mismatched loves

and a plot hole as big as the sea

 

On the seventh day of edits, my CP gave to me:

seven subplots hanging

six clichéd themes

five pointless scenes

four repeated phrases

three crutch words

two mismatched loves

and a plot hole as big as the sea

 

On the eighth day of edits, my CP gave to me:

eight too many hotties

seven subplots hanging

six clichéd themes

five pointless scenes

four repeated phrases

three crutch words

two mismatched loves

and a plot hole as big as the sea

 

On the ninth day of edits, my CP gave to me:

nine more swoony scenes

eight too many hotties

seven subplots hanging

six clichéd themes

five pointless scenes

four repeated phrases

three crutch words

two mismatched loves

and a plot hole as big as the sea

 

On the tenth day of edits, my CP gave to me:

ten sharks jumped

nine more swoony scenes

eight too many hotties

seven subplots hanging

six clichéd themes

five pointless scenes

four repeated phrases

three crutch words

two mismatched loves

and a plot hole as big as the sea

 

On the eleventh day of edits, my CP gave to me:

eleven weak descriptions

ten sharks a jumped

nine more swoony scenes

eight too many hotties

seven subplots hanging

six clichéd themes

five pointless scenes

four repeated phrases

three crutch words

two mismatched loves

and a plot hole as big as the sea

 

On the twelfth day of edits, my CP gave to me:

Twelve cheesy villains

ten sharks a jumped

nine more swoony scenes

eight too many hotties

seven subplots hanging

six clichéd themes

five pointless scenes

four repeated phrases

three crutch words

two mismatched loves

and a plot hole as big as the sea

 

I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe holiday, and a very awesome new year!

 

About Jus Accardo

JUS ACCARDO spent her childhood reading and learning to cook. Determined to follow in her grandfather’s footsteps as a chef, she applied and was accepted to the Culinary Institute of America. But at the last minute, she realized her true path lay with fiction, not food. A native New Yorker, she lives in the middle of nowhere with her husband, three dogs, and sometimes guard bear, Oswald.

A Day Late & Several Dollars Short

Hi, all! Lori here and I apologize for not posting this yesterday. Christmas is such a whirlwind of parties, and gift-wrapping, and tree-trimming–it’s overwhelming.

I’m going to tell you my trick for handling the pressures of gift-giving this month–online. shopping.

I don’t buy anything from a brick-and-mortar shop. Maybe that makes me a terrible person (because small businesses need our money so much, especially at Christmas). Here’s the thing: I live in the middle of nowhere. There’s nothing around. Tumbleweeds blow past. The reliable, brown UPS truck pulls up to the driveway and he or she emerges with a pile of packages.

I rely on two websites (mostly, mostly) to fulfill my shopping needs. The evil Amazon and Etsy.

First of all, they both have apps. It’s seriously easy to pick out the perfect present. Second, Etsy is packed with small businesses, so I’m still giving back to those companies that need every dollar to survive. Finally, well… look. I’m a busy person. I work full-time. I try to write, to be a good friend, to take care of my family. The thing is, having my purchases delivered to me, in boxes I can then wrap and regift, is the only thing keeping me sane right now.

Unfortunately, the other side of the coin: it’s so damn easy, I may have a spending addiction. 1- Need a thing, 2- open app, 3- choose your poison, 4- buy now, 5-it arrives in two days. So, maybe there’s a downside to all of this ease. But it’s one I’ll have to learn to manage because fighting the crowds in person–not for this chick.

About Lori Sizemore

Lover of nail polish, pens, her Kindle, and fresh coffee. She likes romance filled with messy, real characters and lots of snarky banter. Reading was (and still is!) her BFF; when she discovered writing she fell in love. Come for the snark. Stay for the story.

Going Christmas Tree Crazy #christmas2018

Hi, all! Jennifer here.

Well, I finally did it. I bought a second Christmas tree.

So why two Christmas trees, Jen? Two very good reasons

WHITE LIGHTS   For over 20 years, I’ve wanted white lights on our Christmas tree. I always get shot down by the family every year. Is it too much to ask?

HOMEMADE ORNAMENTS  So, last year when I was about to hang all the homemade ornaments my daughter had made when she was younger, she wouldn’t let me. WHAT?! Yes, she thought they were ugly and ruined the tree.  Um…THEY ARE VERY GORGEOUS TO ME!!!

That’s when I decided that I would buy myself a little tree to house my white lights and homemade ornaments. Actually, it’s not that little. It’s 7 feet. But still.

Here it is:

 

I love it! Fits just right in my dining room and makes me so happy. I just need a few more ball ornaments to get and then it’ll be perfect.

And for the record, here is the family tree:

Honestly? I’m thinking of getting a third tree and decorating it in all seashore ornaments!

(Somebody stop me!!!)

Merry Christmas and happy tree decorating!

How many Christmas trees do you have in your house?

 

 

About Jennifer Shirk

Jennifer Shirk is a USA Today bestselling sweet romance author for Montlake and Entangled Publishing who also happens to be a mom, pharmacist, Red Sox fan, P90x grad, and overall nice person. Check out her latest sweet romance: CATCH HIM IF YOU CAN

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