2017: Year of the Coarse Corn Cob

At the rate of sounding indelicate, I’m going to phrase the next couple paragraphs as structurally-sound and innuendo-laden as I can. Gird yourselves as I discuss… duh, duh, duuuuhhhhh… the year of the Coarse Corn Cob.

“Capital,” you say.

Eh?

“Letters,” you say.

Indeed, friends, this year deserves some alternative language (and horrifying visuals) as much as it deserves honesty, integrity, and a slew of other words we haven’t seen being used in speech or action. My year started out with big plans, rocket-to-the-moon size plans. I wanted to write X (being a number) of books, submit to agents/publishers, and get on to the next part of my 5-year plan.

Then the Coarse Corn Cob appeared and started it’s unholy pursuit to choke me on dry, kernels and wiry silk. Everyone thought I was joking, making up stories, and speaking the ridiculous rhetoric of the Negative Nancy. Then the Coarse Corn Cob came for them, their family members, their pets, computers, cars, and bank accounts. Soon everyone had crusty silks in their teeth and a bad taste in their mouth.

Hopes and dreams were crushed, jaws left hanging open and in pain. The battle became real for so many. The Coarse Corn Cob, relentless and thick, tried to stuff itself where the sun don’t shine and soak up any moisture remaining, in an effort to spread its putrid seed across the globe.

While I battled, attempting to pry said cob from my over-extended maw, I discovered that I need not fall victim. I spoke with over would-be victims who fought back and found regurgitation a form of defense. There were other methods to wrench control over the Coarse Corn Cob, to make oneself an uninhabitable environment for the cob to sprout spawn.

Such survival required patience, determination, planning, and strength of the mind and body. None of these are easy when being attacked in such a brutal, invasive manner. While the war is not over, I’m slowly winning battles, taking back control, and granting my face much-needed moisturization and relaxation.

So remember this, dear reader: Only you can stop deep cob pummeling and it’s only a matter of time before we shove 2017 Coarse one back in the dark hole it belongs in.

 

Shameless plug: 

Landra recently released a book. The second in The Raven series called The Raven Who Caught The Canary. If you like action-adventure/speculative fiction with some romance, this book might be for you. If you don’t appreciate inter-racial romance or people fighting Nazis, stay away. Check it out at all major ebook retailers. Don’t like searching for stuff? Neither does, Landra. So, she posted them below. To the right, you can see her pretty cover.

Check it out at all major ebook retailers. Don’t like searching for stuff? Neither does, Landra. So, she posted them below. To the right, you can see her pretty cover. Psst, there are more books coming in The Raven series, more Nazis getting their butts handed to them in an alternate historical timeline.

Amazon | Barnes and Noble | Google Play | iTunes | Kobo | Smashwords

About Landra Graf

Landra Graf consumes at least one book a day and has always been a sucker for stories where true love conquers all. She believes in the power of the written word, and the joy such words can bring. In between spending time with her family and having book adventures, she writes romance with the goal of giving everyone, fictional or not, their own happily ever after.

Sale Blitz: Wrong Brother, Right Match–Jennifer Shirk

Two brothers. One Christmas. One matchmaker’s mistake…

 

 

Wrong Brother, Right Match

Anyone But You #3

Jennifer Shirk

Entangled Bliss

Matchmaking guru Kennedy Pepperdine’s life is perfect. Perfect job. Perfect friends. Perfect boyfriend. Except…when she gets trapped in an elevator with a handsome stranger, she accidentally confesses a secret: maybe her perfect boyfriend, Justin, isn’t so perfect for her after all. But a matchmaker should be able to successfully match herself, right? Thankfully, she’ll never see the handsome stranger again. Until she heads home with Justin for the holidays and learns that the sexy stranger is none other than Justin’s older brother, Matt.

Matt Ellis is trying to be on his best behavior for his mother—it is Christmas, after all. But when he recognizes the beautiful woman from the elevator—the one he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about for months—his best behavior is being held by a thread. Matt’s always sacrificed for his family, and nothing is more important than their happiness, but the more time he spends around Kennedy, the more he wonders if her supposed “right match” might just be the wrong brother.

Praise for Wrong Brother, Right Match

“Wrong Brother, Right Match is basically a Hallmark Christmas Movie in book form and I love it!” – Stephanie’s Book Reviews

If you want to be swept away into a sweet read that will keep you glued to the page then this is the book for you. There was just something about this storyline that was the right amount of sweet, romance and fun that made it unputdownable.”- The Sub Club Books

 Wrong Brother, Right Match WON the 2017 ©Desert Rose RWA® Golden Quill Contest- Sweet Traditional Category

 

99 CENTS FOR A LIMITED TIME

Jennifer Shirk is the award-winning author of sweet (and sometimes even funny) romances for Montlake Romance and Entangled Publishing. Her novel SUNNY DAYS FOR SAM won the 2013 Golden Quill Published Authors Contest for Best Traditional Romance. Recently, her novel, FIANCE BY FATE—a 2015 Readers’ Crown Finalist—became an Amazon #1 best seller for Series Romance. And recently, WRONG BROTHER, RIGHT MATCH won the
Sweet Traditional category of the 2017 Golden Quill Contest.
She resides in a beach resort in NJ, so when she’s not writing or working on her tan, she’s taking care of her most treasured possessions: her husband, daughter and puppy (Sox).

Check out her website for News and Links:

Feel free to friend her on Facebook:

And don’t forget to join her mailing list for a chance to win free ARCs:

 

About Jennifer Shirk

Jennifer Shirk is a USA Today bestselling sweet romance author for Montlake and Entangled Publishing who also happens to be a mom, pharmacist, Red Sox fan, P90x grad, and overall nice person. Check out her latest sweet romance: WRONG BROTHER, RIGHT MATCH.

  • Our LATEST Buzz!

    Cyn D. Blackburn's Wrapped Up in You releases on November 13. *** The first two books in the Cupid's Cafe series were released in June by Lori Sizemore and Landra Graf *** Lori Sizemore's Infamous was released on December 14. *** Julie Jarnagin's Cowgirl in the Kitchen is available now. *** Bethanne Strasser LETTERS FROM HOME from Entangled Publishing is available now! *** Nina Croft's latest books, Her Fantasy Husband, a hot contemporary romance from Entangled's Brazen line, and The Order Boxed Set, a compilation of the three full length novels, plus a new novella, exclusive to the boxed set, both released in April 2016 *** Debora Dennis's holiday novella, A PROPOSAL & PUMPKIN PIE is on sale for .99 through Thanksgiving.