It goes without saying that this is the month for love. If you read any of this month’s posts you will see why we write romance, why Valentine’s Day is awful and that marriage is good for you.
Each post holds a bit of one author’s perspective and those perspectives are all true. But beyond all the wonderful things said about love and romance, we all write it because we love the simple joy of it.
There is nothing more basic as one girl and one boy getting together to share a lifetime full of happiness and love. Sure, there are bound to be bumps in the road, and they can take many forms, but the message in most of our stories is geared toward that happily ever after. Today, the HEA has a sister and that’s been named happily-for-now.
I’m not so much into HFN but I get it. In today’s fast paced world, people move around, people change jobs and their perspective changes. Things that worked before don’t always work in the new place and some of those that go by the wayside are those relationships that maybe started as an office romance. For me, the real story is getting that relationship to work. And I know it can happen because I’ve had friends who are married after doing those distance marathon relationships. After all, love conquers all.
Now there have been other twists in the romance world. Bet many of you didn’t know that in days gone by, science fiction and fantasy really didn’t have romantic relationships. Sure, there might be a girl and guy paring but it wasn’t the norm. Relationships did happen more in fantasy because of its very nature of sword and sorcery. After all, people did have Tolkien to read and in those books relationships abound.
But in science fiction, since it was a male dominated world, for many years romance was strictly taboo. People did not have relationships in space nor did they have sex or children or anything people would do in a normal life on earth. This gave me pause and then I’d snicker only to go into a full out laugh. What?!? No relationships in space?!? Who were these people kidding? Well it turns out they were kidding themselves. People will fall in love no matter what the venue. People are meant to be in love and form long term relationships and commitments. It makes us feel better and whole. I had quite a few closet sci-fi romance stories because that’s one of the genres I love to write. What is more exciting than to be in love and working in space…I can’t think of a thing.
For many years, it was thought that only humans could feel love. Even our closest relatives on the humanoid family tree didn’t form long term relationships. Theirs all happened in a completely different hierarchy and love wasn’t even a component of the system. But recently, someone hooked up a dog’s brain to a monitor and found that the same portions of their brains light up as our own when they see their humans. And that tells me that love is universal. There is no stronger bond than a dog and its master.
Today, the state of romance is a good one. Romance is still the number one top seller of all books in all forms. Love is still a money maker in terms of weddings and honeymoons and all the trappings associated with becoming a unit. Like purchasing homes and having children. These are things of a lifetime commitment that people do to fulfill their dreams.
When I was growing up I was determined I was never going to marry someone like my Dad. Don’t get me wrong, my Dad’s a great guy but he was a farmer and a construction worker. I wanted something more refined and exotic. Then my mother got ill with Alzheimer’s and I watched my father care for her every day. It broke my heart and when we were talking to the minister about what to say at her funeral, my father explained his love for her in this one sentence, “She was a keeper.” I knew then I had been wrong about my father for all those years. I wanted a man just like him. I wanted someone to tell others I’d been the keeper.
Thank god I’m lucky enough to have found that man. And what about you all? Have you found the love of your life? Do you believe that romance is an everyday occurrence?